Merry Day!

At the risk of confirming all your ideas of LA trashiness, here is a nativity-type scene recently spotted one block over from mine. It's in a brick niche carved out of a steep hill on street level. The Bratz (sp?) have what appear to be wings made out of real feathers. Enjoy!

*L

Hell froze over (aka: Its a Christmas Miracle!)

Well, here you have it. Photos. Check out the food spread! Mmmmm, oysters. Mmmmmm, caviar. You gotta love the blue ribbon guys for making an already special occassion even better. And for taking great camera phone pictures. I wish you both had been there. j

In the Spirit

I used to watch Alvin and the Chimpmunks occasionally when I was little; an odd compliment from a (then) kid who absolutely hated Sesame Street. Talk about legs, there's a yet another (geez 25 years and counting?...) Alvin and friends movie...recycling takes many forms.

Something about their squeaking held me captive; glad I grew out of that weirdness. ahem.
splat. know where I won't be Dec. 23rd. k

But he's so cute!

Well, I wish I could say I have something else to post other than my dog. Alas, months and months have gone by and no, nothing. Just dog. So, he's 8 months old now. 95 pounds. A giant goofball. J

Oh, and, this is how he sleeps:

fail

so close.

my morning....

(this white car is about to hit 2 ft of water...yippee. I am taking shelter via the underpass, scooter illegalishly wedged off to the right. :: phone cam not as good as L's...)


hmph, I had a rough couple of hours, which involved awesome wind, rain, flooding, getting stuck, likely ruining my boots (!@#$), soaking a library book and freezing...all of this fun was had on my scooter. Attention, 1-2 foot huge puddles and scooters do not mix. If I could of had picked it up and threw it, I would've. The below cheered me right up. It might well become my new silly standby, displacing this genius. Maybe not.


Note: I didn't actually want tc's puss on smear either, but hopefully it's worth pain.

from above

Just a couple more images to entice potential visitors... The view from my landlord's porch, which I am granted full access to whenever he's out of town. No cracks about smog, please--that haze is actually just due to poor photo quality since these were taken on my cell phone. Imagine what pictures from a real camera would look like! Then imagine what reality would look like! Then come visit!

*L

Sassy captcha

what is with this sassy captcha? I had better not be getting the flu, and really I feel fine. But now that you made me type it-twice- and what is with that? Well, one wonders.

yours in health,
ksmear

wolf

I don't really have to say anything about this, do I? Even you, J, must have seen those damn t-shirts by now...

*L

You should see my new house

Even though it's not really mine, and is only a part of a house.

Here are some promised pictures to give an impression of my new home. There is also a bathroom, kitchen and dining area that don't photograph well. Please note that the living room is actually very bright and flooded with all-day sunshine, but I chose the pictures that make it look dark because the colors look richer. And the darkness obscures the disorderly appearance of the room at the time of photo-taking.

I have an office area set up to the left of the room below, but it was way messy.

Also note the extreme wood panelling in the bedroom. The dining area and hallway are also covered with it. Unfortunately, it's not the prettiest wood you've ever seen, but whatever, flaws add character. I guess.

There are pretty flowers outside the bedroom windows. They attract butterflies and hummingbirds, which certainly entertains the cat.

The garden, with a little corner of my patio visible, with a lonely-looking chair. Don't be fooled! There is another chair and a table behind the Giant Bird of Paradise.

Um, that is a hot tub on the right. And the downtown skyline in the background. It looks much closer in person. It's pretty much ridiculous.

Perk not pictured: my landlord has an adorable, affectionate Rottweiler who I hang out with sometimes on my lunch break. I love him, even though he clearly wants to eat my cat.

Smearers, come visit!

*L

Garden Tip #1

Apparently, I will do anything for a decent tomato crop. Even fertilize with my own urine, which according to Finnish scientists makes ..."a reasonably potent fertilizer..."
and made for equally tasty fruit. (with our without the wood ash)
Intriguing ... but I am not all that excited about storing my urine for six months prior to using it as a fertilizer, that could get awkward.

-k

he's back

I've been regrettably inactive in the smearing lately, but finally know what I should report here: Werner Herzog's latest movie, Bad Lieutenant. Maybe you've heard of the original Bad Lieutenant, directed by Abel Ferrara and starring Harvey Keitel, or maybe you haven't, like Werner Herzog. Hearing that his film was being remade, Ferrara commented:

I wish these people [Herzog and star Nicholas Cage, presumably. Yes, Nicholas Cage. Eh?] die in hell. I hope they're all in the same streetcar and it blows up.

To which Herzog responded,

I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is... I've never seen a film by him... Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?

Hilarious! All of it!

The (Herzog) movie itself also sounds hilarious. I cannot wait. Look at that ridiculous cast. With crazy Werner directing them. Cannot wait!

*L

Safe Sex with Hitler

hep hep. This ad is getting pulled rechts und links and lots of flack in general. I am not sure how effective it is going to be, but if just being disturbing is the goal, then yes.
k

Dr. Roxanne's Revenge

...this made me fuzzier than usual... an 80s female rapper earned her phd and and gets Warner music to finance her education due to a forgotten clause in an old contract. yip yip.

I know what would be a good idea...

I just couldn't help myself. This was too good. j

Pulp Snail

..eh, .this just cracked me up....the name, the screaming colors, the love of fonts (seriously now), the double-take instructions, the snail being helpful up to the very end! Anything with death in the title has got to be good, no? I had to share.




My container garden is chugging along- basil, arugula that we're already eating and lots of inedible green tomatoes, early girl & bloody butcher. Hopefully I'll be posting pics of my bounty soon, but for now you can see the progress and send me good garden thoughts. k

Dear Wholefoods, can you donate this..

...to a food pantry, shelter, to me?, or even chop it up then compost it? Seems kinda wastey.
I am not hungry anymore. k
Wholefoods dumpsta Sunday july 5 around 7pm..

let's be friends

Photo by Chris McVeigh. Enjoy.

*L

June Bounties

Here ye, Here ye. My gardens as of now. Tomatoes and Peppers: -- not ready yet (enjoy the side view of the backyard with bowsers on the porch):

Herbs -- mostly check. My perennials oregano, chive and sage (to the left) are in full force as is this crazy parsley I planted LAST year. Maddness. The a basil i bought is ok, but all the dill, cilantro and basil seeds i planted aren't happy and i can't figure out why.


As for other foods -- the multi-colored swiss chard is OOC as are my lettuces. The Thai lettuce popped up on its own from seed that fell out last year! Its my champion. The beans got eaten by slugs, but i managed to salvage a few.And finally, my flowers. I won't go into the story of how some Hampden Halfwit tore out all of my grape vines and myraid other flowers INSTEAD of the poison ivy he was supposed to remove, but I planted 2 other tropical flowering vines instead (white flowers) and enough things survived in my flower garden to keep me from killing everything. My favorite are the pink Phlox. One small root was given to me from a garden in VA 3 years ago and they have exploded. I love them.
Ahh, Baltispore, you're bountiful bossom gives suckle to the hopeless in these pathetic times. j

death to trustafarians

aww...it had to happen; maybe bburg will be less annoying? and less expensive without daddy's money inflating costs..

Tomatoes

Well, almost. These plants are thriving; I am already picking the basil and arugula. Yum. I cannot wait until I am teeming with tomatoes. Which should be in a few weeks; oh, my neighbors are in for it.

On the right is called Bloody Butcher (with the oyster shell)

-k

Quentin!

I have found out which puppy is mine from the litter. He is so cute! I am so excited! Come visit his smooshy face! I get him next Friday. J

cadillac northstar STS, MF

In Oakland, people have license-plate frames like this.

*L

spring has sprung

AH, spring. Christ this a sad forecast for this time of year. A month ago I wouldn't have cared. I am bearing down. gulp. ... K

Go Betty

This would make more sense if you've seen the whole episode. (Which we can watch together when you visit me!) But really it stands up fine on its own though. And It reminds me of you two.
Someone knows how to be a good neighbor. K


youtube video from: Lexy158

Hi there.

oh honey. I love being dirty. Note the crazed g1int in my eye?

cleanliness

nice. *L

ich bin ein berliner

While I still fantasize (often) about picking up & moving to Berlin again, it's with the knowledge (already acquired on my second trip there) that it will not be like it was. This post on a much more studious blog really gets some things right: Speaking about Tacheles, he says,

After the initial excitement of chancing upon some sort of liberated space, you soon realise there's not much going on here except the similarly egoistic gestures of tagging and extremely bad neo-expressionist painting - and even more than the rest of Berlin, it always seemed to be almost entirely populated by expats from the USA, UK and Japan, and a Berliner here is as rare as a Dutchman in an Amsterdam 'coffee shop'.

Ah, yes, that Berliner art... But the bad art is part of the charm of the city! But being overrun with other Americans, hmm.... not sure I'd be as accepting about that. Because, of course, I pretend I was there first. OG.

*L

security

*L

pop up ad

..aah, this just popped....it's so schlocky and ridiculous. ( shirt+apple+4 to take a screen capture in mac) Juxtaposing Obama, a yes/no on the economy, free stuff and that it is a pop up I found a pretty insulting interruption, you know? thought I'd share it.
folks click to share their dazzling insights and be heard , score a free t-shirt and get a $50 restaurant gift card...maybe. (site owner) testing to see if folks will click on free dirt, if their voice is counted.
Oh. I am cranky an getting a cold.


what are you two up to? I am excited for spring. Spring forward March 8!

Paper cuts

I think I mentioned these to L (?) and I thought some fuzzy pictures would help to visualize the project. I made these tables while snow bound in December. In each the table legs or support are made from folded magazines. Not sure how obvious that is from the image.

I found the glass in the old flat's recycle room and toted it around for a year until I finally put it to use. Below is a broken guitar that got turned into a table; rather crudely too so I'll be re-doing this at some point. I couldn't keep Forrest away so that's him on the right giving the illusion of speed. It's not entirely level, but mostly so and the price was right; and looks great against the blue walls.

making nickels scream, k