smear

Ding dong

2011-08-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

how i spent my summer vacation

2011-07-22T19:12:00.000-07:00

Actually, it was just a day trip.

So...this happened a month ago, but still. I went kayaking in sea caves! I who can't even swim!

There were sea lions! There was a goddamn blue whale! With a calf! And hundreds and hundreds of dolphins leaping out of the water as far as you could see in all directions (no exaggeration)!

And that was just the boat ride over to the Channel Islands. Then we got in kayaks and: There were awesome sea caves accessible only by boat, starfish the size of your hands, seals with giant whiskers popping up in the middle of our group, tiny baby jellyfish looking awesome in the water right next to our kayaks, baby lobster IN our kayaks, more, more, more!

Seriously, it was one of the greatest things ever. I felt like I flew to some amazing land halfway around the world...but really, it was a 90-minute drive from LA. When I move back here in 3 years and you all come to visit (!!!), we are doing this.

Oh yeah, I didn't take my camera, seeing as how it would get wet, so I stole all these pictures from the website of the awesome company that provided our kayaking guide. I kayaked through that elephant-trunk hole in the second picture. Yahoo!

More Herzog

2011-06-22T20:45:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing this has more significance if you're a parent, but I get the idea anyway:

Sweet lord this biotch is stupid

2011-06-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

so close.... lord.

go away please.

-k

Add one to the "pro" column for Yale

2011-03-18T20:06:00.001-07:00

This is Monty, aka General Montgomery, the Yale Law School Library dog. Apparently not just an adorable mascot, Monty is a certified therapy dog who, under a current pilot program, can be "checked out" within the library by students for half-hour periods to relieve stress. News of this program comes right when I'm deliberating between Ivies... Coincidence? Or fate? Or just Yale librarians shrewdly enticing potential students with cute dog pictures? Whatever. Works for me.

NYU Professor's Skull Implanted Camera...

2011-02-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

...hurts his kepi. just ouch and interesting.. images are sent projected on screens at a museum in Doha, Qatar. I wonder what attendance looks like (ha) in his class.

*k

Ice Storm!

2011-02-05T06:51:00.000-08:00

Asa took these really cool pictures of a forest by our house where we take the dog all the time. Everything was covered in ice. Quentin loved it. I was working, so didn't get to see the coolness, but I wish I had, because these photos are purdy.

portlandia

2011-02-01T19:51:00.000-08:00

K, this seems to really speak to your general frustrations with P-land inefficiency... while also featuring Aubrey Plaza from Parks & Recreation, which I watched all of on Netflix when I needed breaks from "Moby Dick." It's a long book.

*L

Searching for Jordan

2011-02-01T13:09:00.000-08:00

Ha. Any Jordan apparently, who what? My effort to read about Jordan sacking its cabinet is up there with...

class of 2014

2011-01-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

Look closely at what our president is holding for a secret message from me!

*L

Wyomissing

2011-01-20T19:04:00.000-08:00

You ladies have probably seen this? And she's suing, hello. have you been to this mall J be verry careful, mkay?

It's Electric

2010-12-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

Friends, I spotted the elusive electric wookie today, for as hard as these pic were to get- you'd think they would be better. These do not capture the extent of the sequins, or were they rhinestones, no matter, I risked my life to bring you these. The winged animal on the back was absolutely glistening and yes, those pockets are studded. Enjoy.

And natch he was looking at jewelry- despite being the glitz equivalent of falling off his barstool. hearts, k

searching

2010-12-02T12:34:00.000-08:00

You love it.

*L

taking indecision to a whole new level

2010-11-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

...ugh
...You can vote and choose whether we abort or keep our unborn child. For the first time, your vote on the topic of abortion can make a difference.

for the first time? If they have the baby, it'll be awesome s/he learns of the blog.

*k

parking enforcement

2010-11-08T21:23:00.001-08:00

2010-11-08T17:03:00.000-08:00

.....they could have hired the Cleveland tourism guy
...remember how everyone in ny was from ohio? makes sense now ;)

And you thought Baltimore was bad....

2010-11-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

Wyomissing

Finally: The tapeworm's moment in the sun!

2010-11-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

This is just too hilarious to be true. Yet it is. And so close to your humble states, ladies. ;) j

Source: http://www.sos.wa.gov/elections/initiatives/people.aspx#1069

Assigned Number: 1069
Filed: 02/01/2010

Sponsors
Mr. James E. Vaughn

Public Contact Information:
14416 168th Street
Orting, WA 98360
Phone: 253-241-9634
Fax: 253-444-3820
jvaughn50@comcast.net

Ballot Title
Statement of Subject: Initiative Measure No. 1069 concerns the state seal.

Concise Description: This measure would require the Washington State Seal to depict a tapeworm attached to a taxpayer’s intestine, encircled by the words: Committed to sucking the life blood out of each and every taxpayer.

Should this measure be enacted into law? Yes [ ] No [ ]

Ballot Measure Summary
This measure would require the Seal of the State of Washington to be changed to depict a vignette of a tapeworm dressed in a three piece suit attached to the lower intestine of a taxpayer shown as the central figure. The seal would be required to be encircled with the following words: “Committed to sucking the life blood out of each and every tax payer.” The illustration would be selected from submissions submitted by taxpayers.

View Complete Text

BB & B

2010-11-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

So, as you both know, generally you can bring dogs everywhere in NYC. This being the case, Asa brought Quentin to Bed, Bath and Beyond last week. Apparently BB&B has a "dogs in carts" rule and has special doggy shopping carts for them. Soooooo, all 110 pounds of Quentin had to go in the cart. Somehow Asa hefted him in there and, well, you can see the results. Asa said the looks on people's faces and the comments were amazing.

Every time I look at this photo I cannot stop cracking up. Every time. J

Brando cat typewriter

2010-10-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

Still got one more application essay hanging over my head... Young Brando here makes typing on a laptop seem so damn cool. I'll take the inspiration where I can find it.

Photo credit: Murray Garrett/Getty Images

The Best, See?

2010-10-20T11:41:00.001-07:00

The dog bed is a good place for a nap

2010-09-26T14:02:00.000-07:00

He's so smooshy and sleepy. I love his big head.

Well, at least there's always Tiffany's when you need 'em

2010-09-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

LOVED this, as I'm sure the NY Times Ad copy people did too. J

I'm on a roll today

2010-09-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

That's right folks, its that day again. The second most special day of the year. The day when my heart starts beating a little faster. The day when I wake up on a Sunday morning excited, nervous, hopeful, hungry for buffalo wings. The day that can make or break hearts; destroy or build dreams.

I don't even have the words

2010-09-12T07:06:00.001-07:00

Asa found this. Don't even ask how. You don't need to know. All you need to know is that it is amazing. A mazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTtnvTaTK2c

heart

2010-09-09T19:09:00.001-07:00

To fulfill your cute quota for the day:

This is my neighbor's cat, who has quite possibly the most adorable markings a cat has ever had. You can only see the heart when she sits just so, of course. But the triangle/arrow is also there to help focus your attention.

Pile of Higher and Deeper

2010-07-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Congrats, Dr. J!!

Photo of a different Dr. J by Larry Berman.

*L

stunning

2010-06-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

Ah, the vagaries of life. Rarely do we experience actual moments that we can point to and say, "That is when everything changed for the better." But I may have just had one yesterday... LSAT scores are finally out, and in the interest of avoiding the false modesty that I dislike in others, I'm just gonna say it straight up: I kicked the LSAT's feeble little ass. I scored much, much higher than I anticipated, and now my entire picture of my future has changed, opened up, brightened, even! I am still in disbelief...I'm mostly sitting around, staring into space today, too stunned to really think.

It's now actually quite possible that I could find myself living in Cambridge, Mass or Palo Alto, CA in another year or so. Of course, there's still a lot of work left to get myself there, but the biggest hurdle has been successfully jumped. The thought of finding myself in school with the 23-year-old super geniuses that usually attend these places has been amusing me too... Kinda picture myself a little out of place, not completely unlike Reese Witherspoon above. I've never seen Legally Blonde, but somehow I know that she gets into Harvard because of a surprisingly high LSAT score...

AHHHHH! I'm a bit overwhelmed today.

'nother one bites the dust

2010-06-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

Another Hollywood Video closed and we scored a load of super cheap movies. We were in the car and saw the ~~breadcrumbs~~ signs leading to the carnage, er, closing. If they had Black Adder it would have been perfect. No foreign section that I could discern- hallo?- that's why you went out of business. Well, no. But a few months back, I stumbled into another (Blockbuster?) closing and cleanup up nicely; they just don't have the best range, but I was happy to replace to replace some favorites that I had on vhs (of all things).
We did some weeding and dropped several of these. -k

Grassilism

2010-05-05T20:12:00.000-07:00

...this just lasted one day, we had a punky grass the result of some sort of a mechanical error (or ..?) it was mowed uniformly the next day. boring.

On the way to class in Main Building...

2010-04-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

The trip to NYC this time really inspired some nostalgia! Or maybe this obit would be of interest to me either way... the end of (the designer of) an era.

Image via NY Times

P.S. Does "Main Building" have some titular sponsorship yet? The name always seemed very un-NYU...maybe they're just holding out for the big big bucks.

happy happy

2010-04-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

Grammar is Good

2010-04-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Driver:
Argh. Yep, those apostrophe things can go anywhere just plop 'em (see!) in and that's (ha) that. Like the scarf of grammar. Actually, no. I doubt you made the huge freaking bumper sticker that advertises your disdain for subtlety and grammar- but you did put it on your car, so you're guilty. Also, I don't know why, but I am dying to see your hair and make you use peruse in a sentence.
Ok, feeling better better now.
Thanks for indulging me l, j.

Ps- I am pretty sure drivers give you wide berth- have you noticed that?

best,

kc

!10days!

2010-04-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Who's High Verbal?

2010-03-06T18:20:00.000-08:00

Me. How cute is this? This is hangman with a 10 year old I tutor. She started with my hair, cause you do not want to end up bald. No ma'am, I do not.

k

ruby

2010-03-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

This has been all over the Internets for the last week, but I figure that doesn't mean J has seen it! And maybe not even K. Whether you like the song or not, a Rube Goldberg contraption is always fun. And this one happens to have been located in a warehouse about 5 minutes from my house, I hear. I like it best towards the end...

May be best viewed here, where the screen doesn't get cropped.

wiry

2010-03-03T15:33:00.001-08:00

I dawdled and took my sweet time with it, but some months ago I finally finished all five seasons of The Wire. Saying goodbye was hard, but I figured that, as with other changes in life, it would just take some time. But days like today, when I'm home sick, a bit too tired to read for long, yet longing for something worthwhile to fill this sudden free time with...

....sigh....

Pug in a blanket

2010-02-28T20:29:00.000-08:00

aw...

Isn't Greece Suffering Enough?

2010-02-27T18:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, what oh what is with the yogurt ads? I just think this looks well, kinda gross and silly. I like yogurt. But something about this ad is just so so unappetizing. Like rabbit droppings on yogurt. The authentic font is nice tho ahem. And why do I expect it to say fruit in the rear or something equally immature? Fail.

*k

ah, kids

2010-02-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

In keeping with the canine theme of late...

Take note: apparently all it takes to be defined as a hipster are some plastic glasses. Now, I love a dog-in-glasses photo as much as the next gal, but it's really the captions here that win me over. I think Raven might be my favorite...

Image via hipster puppies.

Rent-a-dog

2010-02-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

Fine. Fine! If you are both going to tease me with pictures of your adorable canines, I'm going to show you some of the awesome dog whose poop I don't even have to pick up:

So he sometimes likes to remove a plant or two so he can stick his face in the dirt and take a nap. Who doesn't?

And there's always this little ball of fuzz:

Luke invades the dog park

2010-02-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

Kind of a perfect Saturday morning- no rain first off and Luke at the dog park. Luke (yellow puppia halter) particularly enjoyed sniffing the bum of a 215 lb great dane. Luke is super fast and wants nothing more than to be chased and a chance to use his moves- lots of fast breaks and darting. Kind of the anti-Forrest.

Got a wee bit of snow today

2010-02-06T06:17:00.000-08:00

Well. This is what I woke up to this morning. It sure is lovely. Unfortunately, since this is Baltimore, I am not going to be able to leave my house for at least 4 days. Seriously. On a high note, the snow really makes my neighborhood look a lot classier than it really is.

This last photo is from a smaller snow storm we had last week, but I just wanted to show it b/c he looks so awesome and I'm so proud of his sweet jumping skills. I'm a loosah. j

I hate my vet (that means you Falls Road Animal Hospital)

2010-02-02T14:21:00.000-08:00

This is my rant against Falls Road Animal Hospital in Baltimore, MD. Until last Friday, this had been my vet for my beloved dog. NO MORE!

I could give you the whole back history, but here are some helpful nuggets.

We'll focus on this last vist, as it was the worst. I brought Quentin in to the vet b/c he has had mucas and blood in his stool and I was worried that he may have swallowed something he shouldn't have. I also figured that while I was there, I would use the opportunity to address a staph infection he has had on his skin.

I made an appointment and was assigned to Dr. S. I had seen him once before and did not enjoy the experience as I find him arrogant and indifferent, but I foolishly accepted the appointment b/c it fit in with my work schedule.

So we went and were put in the examining room. When the doctor walked him, I explained to him the issues.

Response to the staph infection: brushed it off, said it could be fleas and if it is staph, it will just keep coming back so I should have him on a good food and omega oils and just deal with him having flaky skin. I explained that he already is on such a food and such oils and he said that that was great and I could try bathing him more. I said that I've always understood that bathing dries one's skin out more. He just smirked and said I could use a moisturizing shampoo or put some oils on his skin. He claimed he would give me info on these oils, but never did.

Now, as you know, I am a scientist and have an excellent understanding of biology. I also grew up with animals and horses and have a pretty good understanding of vet care. I know for a fact that flea bites do not look the same as the staph lesions my dog has and I also know for a fact he does not have fleas. He had no interest in my assertions that he doesn't have fleas and I wanted to treat the infection.

Response to blood and mucas in stool: I had brought in a stool sample and he ordered tests done on that. He did not do a rectal exam or any other obvious exam except touching his stomach. He said I could wait in the waiting room for the results of the stool test for giardia. I asked what he thought it could be if not a parasite b/c I was worried about him having a foreign body in his stomach. He said we would address that after the exam results. I then waited for well over a half hour. I was then called to the desk where there was a bottle of antibiotics, bags of powder and my receipt. The receptionist was ready to ask me to pay. I asked her what the diagnosis was and what was going on. She didn't know and went to find someone else. That took another 5 minutes or so. Another woman came and said that the giardia test was negative and they were going to send out the stool to get a complete battery of parasite tests done. In the meantime I could give him the medicine (antibiotics for diarrhea and powder for parasites). I asked what the doctor thought was wrong if it wasn't parasites. She didn't know and left for a bit. Someone else came back and said that the doctor wasn't worried about an obstruction. I said that I wanted to get some info on what was wrong if it wasn't for parasites. At this point the receptionist butted in and told me, in a very rude tone, that switching a dog's food is very dangerous and should never be done without vet supervision (I'm guessing she read my chart that I has switched food recently). I then informed her, very testily, that I had slowly switched his food over a month, that he had been switched to an adult for sensitive skin food to help his skin issues (this had been suggested to me in a previous vet visit) and that his old food's formula had just been changed by the company that makes it and had started making him ill. She just stared at me.

The other woman said nothing in response to my questions about what it would be if not parasites. I then said I didn't want either medication if they didn't even know if he needed them and I would just take my bill. The receptionist informed me it was about $130. When I asked why it was so expensive, she said that the in-house test giardia was about $40 and the out of house test for all parasites was about $40. It clearly said on the bill that the out of house test also tested for giardia, so I asked why double tests were ordered. They gave me a ridiculous, non-answer. When I said I didn't want to pay for a test that wasn't necessary, the other woman asked me if Dr. S told me that he was going to do the tests. I said that he told me he was sending the stool out for testing and would do an in-house test for giardia but did not inform me of the costs nor did he inform me that the in-house test wasn't necessary and I could have just waited 24-hours for the results of the other test. She informed me in a remarkably rude manner that I had authorized the tests and there was nothing she could do.

I let her know that I would never be coming back to falls road animal hospital and did not want the other test sent out, so in the end I only paid for one. I find it disgusting that after a 5 minute exam, I spent 45 minutes in the hospital and at no point did Dr. S (or any other vet) have the time to come out and give me his diagnosis, discuss treatments or talk about possibilities for what could be wrong. I just called Aardmore animal hospital and, though I've never been there, was put through to a vet immediately. She listened to what has been going on with my dog, explained the various things she thought could be going on based on the phone conversation and what treatments she would suggest if I decided to come in. Not one thing she discussed was mentioned by Dr. S or anyone else. She was friendly and thorough.

Though I'm sure many people are lucky enough to have an average experience, I guarantee you that Falls Road Animal Hospital gives sub-par, over-priced, careless and arrogant animal care. Every dog owner I have ever met in Baltimore (and that is over 50 people) has a negative story to tell about this facility and none of them use it. If you go look at any website that rates vets, you will hear similar and more awful stories over and over. I wish I had done that. I went for the same reason most people do: it is well-located, has emergency service and advertises, advertises, advertises.

Obviously, I am now changing vets. I'm posting this here to vent and also hoping that maybe some google search, some day, will stop an unsuspecting person from going to this horrible place.

Thanks but no..

2010-01-14T22:01:00.000-08:00

Really just how cute is this litter? I am telling you, Portland is that charming. I found this on the last doggy walk this evening. Luke and Forrest were impressed, (full disclosure they each had one). The fries were cold btw, next time maybe timestamp that shit.

K

Luke! and the other one

2010-01-12T17:43:00.000-08:00

Finally, I am able to get pictures of Luke- apparently he requires a Nikon slr, fancy brat. Something about his marled hazel coloring and scruffiness requires 12 megapixels.

Oh, and Forrest has discovered blankets.

Merry Day!

2009-12-25T14:09:00.001-08:00

At the risk of confirming all your ideas of LA trashiness, here is a nativity-type scene recently spotted one block over from mine. It's in a brick niche carved out of a steep hill on street level. The Bratz (sp?) have what appear to be wings made out of real feathers. Enjoy!

Hell froze over (aka: Its a Christmas Miracle!)

2009-12-04T06:28:00.001-08:00

Well, here you have it. Photos. Check out the food spread! Mmmmm, oysters. Mmmmmm, caviar. You gotta love the blue ribbon guys for making an already special occassion even better. And for taking great camera phone pictures. I wish you both had been there. j

In the Spirit

2009-11-27T16:29:00.000-08:00

I used to watch Alvin and the Chimpmunks occasionally when I was little; an odd compliment from a (then) kid who absolutely hated Sesame Street. Talk about legs, there's a yet another (geez 25 years and counting?...) Alvin and friends movie...recycling takes many forms.

Something about their squeaking held me captive; glad I grew out of that weirdness. ahem.
splat. know where I won't be Dec. 23rd. k

But he's so cute!

2009-11-17T07:54:00.001-08:00

Well, I wish I could say I have something else to post other than my dog. Alas, months and months have gone by and no, nothing. Just dog. So, he's 8 months old now. 95 pounds. A giant goofball. J

Oh, and, this is how he sleeps:

fail

2009-11-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

so close.

my morning....

2009-11-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

(this white car is about to hit 2 ft of water...yippee. I am taking shelter via the underpass, scooter illegalishly wedged off to the right. :: phone cam not as good as L's...)

hmph, I had a rough couple of hours, which involved awesome wind, rain, flooding, getting stuck, likely ruining my boots (!@#$), soaking a library book and freezing...all of this fun was had on my scooter. Attention, 1-2 foot huge puddles and scooters do not mix. If I could of had picked it up and threw it, I would've. The below cheered me right up. It might well become my new silly standby, displacing this genius. Maybe not.

Note: I didn't actually want tc's puss on smear either, but hopefully it's worth pain.

from above

2009-11-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

Just a couple more images to entice potential visitors... The view from my landlord's porch, which I am granted full access to whenever he's out of town. No cracks about smog, please--that haze is actually just due to poor photo quality since these were taken on my cell phone. Imagine what pictures from a real camera would look like! Then imagine what reality would look like! Then come visit!

Sassy captcha

2009-11-02T12:00:00.001-08:00

what is with this sassy captcha? I had better not be getting the flu, and really I feel fine. But now that you made me type it-twice- and what is with that? Well, one wonders.

yours in health,
ksmear

wolf

2009-10-27T21:37:00.001-07:00

I don't really have to say anything about this, do I? Even you, J, must have seen those damn t-shirts by now...

You should see my new house

2009-10-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Even though it's not really mine, and is only a part of a house.

Here are some promised pictures to give an impression of my new home. There is also a bathroom, kitchen and dining area that don't photograph well. Please note that the living room is actually very bright and flooded with all-day sunshine, but I chose the pictures that make it look dark because the colors look richer. And the darkness obscures the disorderly appearance of the room at the time of photo-taking.

I have an office area set up to the left of the room below, but it was way messy.

Also note the extreme wood panelling in the bedroom. The dining area and hallway are also covered with it. Unfortunately, it's not the prettiest wood you've ever seen, but whatever, flaws add character. I guess.

There are pretty flowers outside the bedroom windows. They attract butterflies and hummingbirds, which certainly entertains the cat.

The garden, with a little corner of my patio visible, with a lonely-looking chair. Don't be fooled! There is another chair and a table behind the Giant Bird of Paradise.

Um, that is a hot tub on the right. And the downtown skyline in the background. It looks much closer in person. It's pretty much ridiculous.

Perk not pictured: my landlord has an adorable, affectionate Rottweiler who I hang out with sometimes on my lunch break. I love him, even though he clearly wants to eat my cat.

Smearers, come visit!

Garden Tip #1

2009-09-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I will do anything for a decent tomato crop. Even fertilize with my own urine, which according to Finnish scientists makes ..."a reasonably potent fertilizer..."
and made for equally tasty fruit. (with our without the wood ash)
Intriguing ... but I am not all that excited about storing my urine for six months prior to using it as a fertilizer, that could get awkward.

-k

he's back

2009-09-17T19:04:00.000-07:00

I've been regrettably inactive in the smearing lately, but finally know what I should report here: Werner Herzog's latest movie, Bad Lieutenant. Maybe you've heard of the original Bad Lieutenant, directed by Abel Ferrara and starring Harvey Keitel, or maybe you haven't, like Werner Herzog. Hearing that his film was being remade, Ferrara commented:

I wish these people [Herzog and star Nicholas Cage, presumably. Yes, Nicholas Cage. Eh?] die in hell. I hope they're all in the same streetcar and it blows up.

To which Herzog responded,

I have no idea who Abel Ferrara is... I've never seen a film by him... Is he Italian? Is he French? Who is he?

Hilarious! All of it!

The (Herzog) movie itself also sounds hilarious. I cannot wait. Look at that ridiculous cast. With crazy Werner directing them. Cannot wait!

Safe Sex with Hitler

2009-09-09T17:29:00.001-07:00

hep hep. This ad is getting pulled rechts und links and lots of flack in general. I am not sure how effective it is going to be, but if just being disturbing is the goal, then yes.
k

Dr. Roxanne's Revenge

2009-08-25T16:15:00.000-07:00

...this made me fuzzier than usual... an 80s female rapper earned her phd and and gets Warner music to finance her education due to a forgotten clause in an old contract. yip yip.

I know what would be a good idea...

2009-08-06T12:50:00.001-07:00

I just couldn't help myself. This was too good. j

Pulp Snail

2009-07-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

..eh, .this just cracked me up....the name, the screaming colors, the love of fonts (seriously now), the double-take instructions, the snail being helpful up to the very end! Anything with death in the title has got to be good, no? I had to share.

My container garden is chugging along- basil, arugula that we're already eating and lots of inedible green tomatoes, early girl & bloody butcher. Hopefully I'll be posting pics of my bounty soon, but for now you can see the progress and send me good garden thoughts. k

Dear Wholefoods, can you donate this..

2009-07-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

...to a food pantry, shelter, to me?, or even chop it up then compost it? Seems kinda wastey.
I am not hungry anymore. k
Wholefoods dumpsta Sunday july 5 around 7pm..

let's be friends

2009-06-28T20:59:00.001-07:00

Photo by Chris McVeigh. Enjoy.

June Bounties

2009-06-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Here ye, Here ye. My gardens as of now. Tomatoes and Peppers: -- not ready yet (enjoy the side view of the backyard with bowsers on the porch):

Herbs -- mostly check. My perennials oregano, chive and sage (to the left) are in full force as is this crazy parsley I planted LAST year. Maddness. The a basil i bought is ok, but all the dill, cilantro and basil seeds i planted aren't happy and i can't figure out why.

As for other foods -- the multi-colored swiss chard is OOC as are my lettuces. The Thai lettuce popped up on its own from seed that fell out last year! Its my champion. The beans got eaten by slugs, but i managed to salvage a few.And finally, my flowers. I won't go into the story of how some Hampden Halfwit tore out all of my grape vines and myraid other flowers INSTEAD of the poison ivy he was supposed to remove, but I planted 2 other tropical flowering vines instead (white flowers) and enough things survived in my flower garden to keep me from killing everything. My favorite are the pink Phlox. One small root was given to me from a garden in VA 3 years ago and they have exploded. I love them.
Ahh, Baltispore, you're bountiful bossom gives suckle to the hopeless in these pathetic times. j

death to trustafarians

2009-06-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

aww...it had to happen; maybe bburg will be less annoying? and less expensive without daddy's money inflating costs..

Tomatoes

2009-06-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well, almost. These plants are thriving; I am already picking the basil and arugula. Yum. I cannot wait until I am teeming with tomatoes. Which should be in a few weeks; oh, my neighbors are in for it.

On the right is called Bloody Butcher (with the oyster shell)

-k

Quentin!

2009-05-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have found out which puppy is mine from the litter. He is so cute! I am so excited! Come visit his smooshy face! I get him next Friday. J

cadillac northstar STS, MF

2009-04-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

In Oakland, people have license-plate frames like this.

*L

spring has sprung

2009-03-15T18:52:00.001-07:00

AH, spring. Christ this a sad forecast for this time of year. A month ago I wouldn't have cared. I am bearing down. gulp. ... K

Go Betty

2009-03-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

This would make more sense if you've seen the whole episode. (Which we can watch together when you visit me!) But really it stands up fine on its own though. And It reminds me of you two.
Someone knows how to be a good neighbor. K

youtube video from: Lexy158

Hi there.

2009-03-09T19:30:00.000-07:00

oh honey. I love being dirty. Note the crazed g1int in my eye?

cleanliness

2009-03-03T17:46:00.000-08:00

nice. *L

ich bin ein berliner

2009-02-25T09:34:00.001-08:00

While I still fantasize (often) about picking up & moving to Berlin again, it's with the knowledge (already acquired on my second trip there) that it will not be like it was. This post on a much more studious blog really gets some things right: Speaking about Tacheles, he says,

After the initial excitement of chancing upon some sort of liberated space, you soon realise there's not much going on here except the similarly egoistic gestures of tagging and extremely bad neo-expressionist painting - and even more than the rest of Berlin, it always seemed to be almost entirely populated by expats from the USA, UK and Japan, and a Berliner here is as rare as a Dutchman in an Amsterdam 'coffee shop'.

Ah, yes, that Berliner art... But the bad art is part of the charm of the city! But being overrun with other Americans, hmm.... not sure I'd be as accepting about that. Because, of course, I pretend I was there first. OG.

*L

security

2009-02-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

pop up ad

2009-02-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

..aah, this just popped....it's so schlocky and ridiculous. ( shirt+apple+4 to take a screen capture in mac) Juxtaposing Obama, a yes/no on the economy, free stuff and that it is a pop up I found a pretty insulting interruption, you know? thought I'd share it.
folks click to share their dazzling insights and be heard , score a free t-shirt and get a $50 restaurant gift card...maybe. (site owner) testing to see if folks will click on free dirt, if their voice is counted.
Oh. I am cranky an getting a cold.

what are you two up to? I am excited for spring. Spring forward March 8!

Paper cuts

2009-02-08T16:32:00.000-08:00

I think I mentioned these to L (?) and I thought some fuzzy pictures would help to visualize the project. I made these tables while snow bound in December. In each the table legs or support are made from folded magazines. Not sure how obvious that is from the image.

I found the glass in the old flat's recycle room and toted it around for a year until I finally put it to use. Below is a broken guitar that got turned into a table; rather crudely too so I'll be re-doing this at some point. I couldn't keep Forrest away so that's him on the right giving the illusion of speed. It's not entirely level, but mostly so and the price was right; and looks great against the blue walls.

making nickels scream, k

oh, metrology

2009-02-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

The US is hanging tough with Liberia and Myanmar as the ~~three pillars of darkness,~~ only countries not to have not formally adopted the International System of Units (metric) as their official systems of weights and measures.

Liberia folks.

Hopefully the graph is not too hard to read; click and make larger.
above graph and cartoon from USMA

road sign from Averill Hecht
I find this pretty interesting and want to learn more about the metrication push from 1975 to 1982 that I can't remember (and I know L &J can't either). It was largely resisted and ineffective and finally done away with by Reagan in March 1982 to "reduce government spending and its streamline operations." Stop you're killing me.

Later in grade school, I remember a perceptibly half-hearted effort to teach the metric system; it was pretty crude and as inexact as possible: a meter is like a yard, a kilometer is about 200 school buses holding hands, you are not a litre- and other equally useless equivalents. C'mon you gotta know this stuff.

k

He's all i'll ever need

2009-01-29T09:36:00.000-08:00

My life is dragging me down. i am mentally, emotionally and even physically exhausted. I used to think the difficulty of a long distance relationship would be how much you miss the person. This is incorrect. It is the unbearable strain on your job, finances, other friendships, ability to travel for fun, private time and life in general. i would have a total breakdown if it were not for this: This is not my greater swiss mountain dog puppy, but one just like it will be arriving at my home some time between august and october, if all goes as planned. All i do all day at work is stare at photos of them. I want to eat its head! its the farking cutest thing ever. I wanna love it and smoosh it and teach it to pick klaes up and move him and teach him to growl at asa when he's in trouble (asa, not the dog. the dog will never be in trouble. i love him already!)

And the even better part is that he will grow into a 110-130 pound mellow, loving, work horse of a dog who can carry my stuff while hiking and plow my garden for me! I mean, look at how big and beautiful he is!

This is truly the only thing keeping me going. i love you little swissy! Just image what would happen if the puppies were covered with baby chicks! Oh my god, my head would pop off my body! j

redundancies

2009-01-17T17:49:00.000-08:00

Last full day of Bush! Here's a guide to my walk filled weekend. Not really. But I do love long walks, partly for what you see and would likely miss otherwise. Danny spotted this apartment building on a walk in se portland. There was a reasonably cute 1 bedroom available, if you can get past the name. Ack worse than PIN number...

paulrus is dead tags are everywhere in portland, everywhere and with the same message. I remember seeing earlier versions asking where is paulrus or whatsa paulrus or something. Well, apparently it's dead now- part of beatles mythology or so I've heard. do you know about this?
for some reason it reminds me of neckface being everywhere in ny a few years back. -k

duct tape

2009-01-14T19:54:00.001-08:00

Only for you two would I offer such a humbling picture for public view. It's all for your amusement, per K's request. Those are supposed to be robot / tin man arms. I may have to come back and pixelate my face later.

This is what I did on Xmas day. K knows to what end, but I'll let J guess...

To my fellow Smearers:

2009-01-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Rachel gave me this mug for christmas because it made her think of me. That made me feel like a million bucks. And, no, she did NOT mean it in the retarded way. I'm posting it here, b/c you 2 are special too. j

Snow

2008-12-22T18:33:00.000-08:00

....Some pictures from Sunday and Monday's record snow in Portland. It's been snowing off and on for over a week now... k

I've become an obnoxious "liberal" or something

2008-12-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

It's a flurry of smearing activity! I was gonna email you both this, but in the off chance that anyone else reads this blog, i thought i would spread the wealth. Visit this website now! Leaving in Baltisplat, this is relatively useless to me, but it would probably help people in real cities out. I had a break down in the fall and stopped eating any non-organic, unstustanably farmed meat. And i've cut just about every good fish out of my diet. My life now sucks as I really do not like pizza or pasta in any form and i live in balitimore. I basically just eat Mexican food. But that's fine, i'm now spending my energies trying to make everyone else miserable with me. You two are already vegetarians, but the websites are still pretty helpful and good to pass on to anyone who might care. j

snowy morning

2008-12-18T09:12:00.000-08:00

...this is the third snow since Sunday, and it rarely snows in Portland. Not enough for snowshoeing in town yet, but enough to keep me off two wheels, so walk it is.

Yahoo is Scary

2008-12-17T16:45:00.000-08:00

Breaking up is hard to do. I’ve had a yahoo email address since the 90s. At this point it functions as a relay so I rarely actually have to check it. I keep it despite a long held view that Yahoo is growing increasingly, laughably irrelevant- well, to me at least. And I can be quite prickly. I find the Yahoo homepage more saccharine train wreck than informative. It's pop, safe, dumb and irritating. Actually going to yahoo.com is cringe inducing, but then again, I do learn a lot: what kind of shoe are you?, Dude-approved holiday presents… something with 'booty' .... Help.

Yahoo being huge, lord knows why, gives it a type of search engine juice. Lately Yahoo Answers has come up in my searches. It is invariably unrelated to what I was actually searching for, I love that. The uninformed and undecided apparently flock to YA. Haven’t had the pleasure of Yahoo Answers- take a gander.

C'mon people. k

seasonal

2008-12-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

Obviously, we are all hesitant to post anything and thus bump down that rad picture of A with B from the top. Maybe we should work it into a masthead logo?
Here's a little picture from xmas past to get us all into the spirit of not buying gifts this season. Of course, it's really just me that needs to be reminded that it's December. There was a high of 72 today here. I wonder if I will ever get used to the seasons in LA. There are seasons, actually, despite what people might tell you. It's just that there's only two of them.

Please note the handwritten label on the bottle above, indicating that its contents are not, in fact, Absolut Vodka, but rather some homemade liquor of Ylva's father's making. Skål!

*L

I wonder if Bill even knows

2008-12-02T09:10:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if y'all will find this as HI-larious as me, but I laughed for probably 10 minutes straight and can't stop laughing now as I write this. I assure you and promise with all my heart that this photo is real and un-photoshopped. Its from years ago, but A. just decided to unearth it now. See below for how normal people pose with a former U.S. president and for more evidence of how A is NOT normal. These photos might explain in full just why i love my boyfriend. j

Black Friday Indeed for Walmart

2008-11-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

Oh what the hell is wrong with people. An employee at a Valley Stream, NY Walmart died after being trampled by really anxious shoppers. According to the NYT, shoppers broke doors off their hinges around 4:55am and things got ugly and dangerous.

From NYT: At 3:30 a.m., store employees called the Nassau police to report that the crowd was growing quickly, the police said. Officers came by to try to organize the line, but were called away to a Circuit City, a Best Buy and a B.J.’s Wholesale Club nearby, to deal with crowds there. .

A young man is dead. Jesus people, it's just shopping. *k

Photo Fox News

Photo just before stampede from NYPost.com

Before and After

2008-11-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

I created my avatar (above), and then made her over. My hair is back to blonde now. Time well spent! k

I gotta hot waist, but the hips are too big.

2008-11-21T13:02:00.000-08:00

This is what asa brings to my life. A Something to get in the way of my usually productive work day. Seriously, if it weren't for him i would slave, slave, slave away; probably finishing my PhD in 3 years instead of 5. Instead of slaving, i've made a simpsons avatar of myself. Now you too can be part of the fun. I'd like to point out that there was a time when my hair was actually this color AND i had blue lipstick. And if you had seen me after the hampden haircutter from hell gave me a mullet, this haircut would've been true to life too. Art imitates life? www.simpsonsmovie.com j

life in the fire zone

2008-11-16T16:34:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles is currently surrounded by flames. Fires in multiple directions, covering the city with an odd yellow glow that's pretty until you step outside and try to breathe in it. Mike Davis has some fascinating and controversial things to say about LA's unique position of having "the longest wild edge, abruptly juxtaposing tract houses and wildlife habitat, of any major nontropical city." This means not only that I pass the occasional coyote on my street at night, but also that the edges of the city run right into fire zones. Zones where destructive fires are guaranteed at least every couple of years.

Davis' position is clear: A chapter in his book Ecology of Fear is titled "The Case for Letting Malibu Burn." And I tend to agree. It's one thing to live in a state where there will be earthquakes once in a while, it's quite another to build multi-million dollar houses in a known fire zone (which is a bit narrower than a whole state, and thus more easily avoided) because greedy real-estate developers had building restrictions loosened for their own gain. This shit is crazy! Davis calls for controlled fires in these regions, which have been proven effective at preventing the spread of wild fires, but rich folk don't want those fires in their backyards. I guess they'd rather wait for the big ones. Why should they even have a say, when other people's insurance premiums are raised to help them rebuild in these same fire zones?

The photo above has not been altered in any way (naturally, since I can barely use Photoshop), but cameras have limitations. The colors were actually reversed: The sky was whitish, and the sun was red like raspberry Jell-O.

Fuck the auto industry

2008-11-12T08:08:00.000-08:00

You all know how super pumped I was and am about this election and a future president Obama. And there are bound to be disagreements and disappointments over the years. But unless Obama decides to increase farm subsidies, NOTHING could be more disappointing to me than his support of an auto industry "rescue package." Indeed, I'm quite pissed. I've written every senator and congressman I can think of, as well as Obama himself. I'm sure it won't matter.

The American auto industry has been making sub-par cars for years, while at the same time actively working to lower environmental standards and block research into alternative forms of auto energy. Let them fail: they are not failing b/c of the bad economy, but because of their poor products and bad business model.

Instead, why can't congress be creative and put together a package for pension support, unemployment and job retraining for the workers in this shit industry. Giving the American auto groups a bail out will only temporarily stave off the massive loss of jobs that will occur someday when there are no bailouts left. Argh! j

2008-11-08T20:12:00.001-08:00

by Callie Shell for TIME

2008-11-06T09:55:00.000-08:00

I'm so proud

2008-11-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

Meet Maria. She's asa's friend and awesome and crazy b/c she just ran the entire NYC marathon in under 4 hours but superb b/c she ran for obama. This photo is from the NY times! I find it all very inspiring.
J

home

2008-10-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

I've been home sick since I got back from nyc (urgh!). I'm now into taking pictures of door knobs. Either my mind is expanding á la Proust and I'm seeing the mundane with "new eyes," or cabin fever is setting in.

*L

Victory is Mine!

2008-10-26T17:13:00.001-07:00

Dork alert. I love Scrabble. Most games actually. I went first and had a double word score, so an instant unearned double. I think this was my highest score ever- 291.

* The board above is a small, zipout travel board smaller in scale than a regular board.

k

i'm feelin sleepy

2008-10-13T21:56:00.001-07:00

Hey Sarah Palin

2008-10-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

...oh, it's Canada for me..and not one caribou barbie reference. : k

from VengaProductions